Death and Beyond

With how busy I’ve been, it’s hard to let things settle inside my mind. Yes, I’ve taken a few moments and had a good cry. I realize my last note was kind of in the dark. Most of you wouldn’t even know who Sinjin was.

My parents got him as a puppy when we were still in Okinawa, a multice, one of those little dogs with the really white fur that’s suppose to flow down in long terracess (like that ever became a reality for him). He really wasn’t the brightest dog, but he was in a good home, had a good family. I, mean, with my sister and I, he was always being played with or scorned. I’m sure some of you know how it is to have chores as a kid. And for some reason, taking the dog out was not one of my favorites (highly preferred over dishes though).

He had several problems, which could probably be traced back to cross breeding in his family line. He was eptileptic and quickly became overweight because of the medicine. He also had a brief fear of large dogs because he was nearly mauled to death by a german sheppard.

When we moved to Alaska, my father’s next base, things between my parents got rocky. I actually believe its because of the bipolar in my mother. The two of them didn’t know she wasn’t mentally sound and when they did figure it out, they were too stubborn to fix things. When it came down to possessions… that was a confusing matter.

Who gets the family pets?

Both Killer (also a departed member at the age of 18, feline frisky) and Sinjin were left with my father. Sinjin adored dad. And dad couldn’t go anywhere without him wanting to come. He couldn’t even come home without him hyperventilating. Then my father met his current wife and they ended up with Bear (another dog, who was abandoned because of my stepmother… a rather touchy subject with me). Seeing as Sinjin was originally my mother’s dog, heaven forbid he should stay with my father.

I know dad was sad when he gave Sinjin back to mom. I saw it and felt it for lack of a better description. And so, for the last 8 or so years, Sinjin grew old with my mother, eventually forgot about the abandoment of my father (he whined at the door for weeks, waiting for him to come back), and actually was a really happy dog.

My step dad took it really hard, according to mom. I guess he held Sinjin wrapped in a sheet and rocked back and forth, saying over and over again that they should of went to the vet when they knew something was off. I know I’ll survive, but I know that he hasn’t had alot of pets, or kept enough pets to bond with them. My mother claims to have not been hit by it yet, but I think she’s lying to herself. I could hear it in her voice that she wasn’t completely there. She’s been having a recent problem with controlling her ups and downs too.

Sinjin was 14 years old. I am seriously surprised he lasted that long. Themabarbitol (I hope I spelt that right) is a drug given to eptileptics that does serious damage to the liver. He was on it for many years until we were able to finally ween him off it, once his attacks weren’t that bad to the point where he never had any anymore. He was predicted to live to ten years.

I knew he didn’t have much longer when I saw him during my visit. He didn’t even remember me at first because he had a serious case of memory loss. He was also extremely light to pick up despite eating like a horse. And he was pretty much blind. In some ways, I’m glad I was able to stay with mom for a little while: come to grips and say my final farewells to the old man.

Although, I have to admit, this happened alot sooner than I had expected. I figured December as the soonest month.

So, today, sometime in the early morning hours, he passed away in his sleep, curled up in a ball. I asked my mom what they were going to do with the body. She said they would have the vet creamate him and then they were going to spread his ashes in the park.

I think that’s a fitting way to close his life out.